IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. why do you think people are interested in the live of famous people? do you think its a good thing?

Nowadays, there are more and more
people
Use synonyms
 paying attention to the
lives
Use synonyms
 of famous
people
Use synonyms
. As far as I am concerned, treating it as an amusement may be one of the reasons why the interest has been increased.
Besides
Linking Words
, I think negative effects will result once the public cares more about others' daily life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 can be entertained by the
lives
Use synonyms
 of famous
people
Use synonyms
. As it seems impossible for normal
people
Use synonyms
 to experience special things every day, they may find stories of the well-known
person
Use synonyms
 in order to have fun.
For example
Linking Words
, rumours may be a hot topic at the party and
people
Use synonyms
 may want to learn more about them in order to communicate with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, friends may chat with each other about those rumours as a way to relax and reduce their pressure.
Besides
Linking Words
, negative comments can be left once the
lives
Use synonyms
 of the well-known
person
Use synonyms
 are popular.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone may write negative comments as a way to express their depression if they have experienced a bad day. As society seems to be influenced by others easily, the
lives
Use synonyms
 of famous
people
Use synonyms
 can be affected once the public follows others' opinions without having their own ideas.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those words can put the well-known
person
Use synonyms
 in danger as they need to live under huge pressure. In conclusion, the amusement which can bring from the
lives
Use synonyms
 of famous
people
Use synonyms
 can explain the increasing interest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the attention to the
lives
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known
person
Use synonyms
 can damage their daily life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: