Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Nowadays, those famous people frequently show off their estates and luxuries to the masses,

thus

gaining followers on the websites without being famous for their contribution to society. Some adolescents may follow

this

trend

and it will be a harmful phenomenon for them. As far as I am concerned, I agree with

this

opinion.

To begin

with, It is admitted that

this

trend

may be conducive to the young people's work efficiency. The reason is that the property of celebrities may appeal to those youngsters who yearn for wealth, and

then

they will work hard to obtain a well-paid job

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can boost their living standard.

For example

, many undergraduate students aimed to purchase a luxury case endorsed by some influencers, so they worked fairly hard to increase their income so that they could fulfil the dream.

However

, I still reckon that the downsides of

this

tendency can't be neglected. We can attain plenty of wealth and fortune from fame, but fame sometimes backfires. To be more specific, the overstated persuasion of fame

instead

of achievements sometimes leads to ignorance of their bad behaviours.

For instance

, some influencers like Wu Yifan and Wanglihong didn't show upright conduct to the young person.

Instead

, they cheated their families. Unbelievably, their fans even refused to acknowledge what they did before.

In addition

, many young students who were misguided by some misconduct even imitated some disgusting behaviour done by some celebrities which caused unrest in big cities only because they thought that these were intriguing to them. In conclusion,

although

this

trend

sometimes can be beneficial to young people's work productivity, I still insist that the detrimental aspect of

this

trend

definitely overwhelms the advantage it brings to youngsters

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because sometimes it will cause their misconduct the society, which will have a harmful effect on their life.

Submitted by 15546322798 on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that getting the degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?

Some young people are leaving the countrside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Successful sports professionals can earn much more than those in other important professions, like nurses, doctors, and teachers. Some people think it is fully justified, while others believe it is unfair. To what extent do you agree or disagree?