Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Before
medicine
was introduced in the 18th century, humans resolved on other ways of healing like leaches removing toxins, or using poison to cure others’ sickness. Nowadays, some
people
tend to alternative medicines and treatments rather than visiting their usual doctor's subscription. In my opinion, the disadvantage outweighs the advantages of using traditional
medicine
. In
this
essay, I'll try to discuss the pros and cons. On the one hand, risks might occur
while
taking medication without a doctor's prescription. In fact,
instead
of modern
medicine
, some
people
use traditional drugs like herbs, dry leaves/tree bark, and dry mushrooms.
Although
this
could be a sufficient way for recovery, research has shown some cases could lead to a person's health in a negative way, from side effects to allergic reactions when using the wrong medications during the process of self-care at home.
Besides
,
people
often accept what they want to think, even though the result cannot be correct because there are innumerable results for
such
basic symptoms. After accepting their illness, they look for a cure on their own. When individuals look up information about their stomachache, a wider range of health conditions are reported, from food poisoning to stomach cancer.
This
can lead to misdiagnosis
as well as
a decline in mental health.
In addition
to anxiety, despair, and overanalyzing.
On the contrary
, the payment and regulatory environment in hospitals offer the sufficient provision of supporting infrastructures including digital tools in cases of emergencies of those who have acute ailments.
On the other hand
, the many reasons for some
people
usually don't go to doctors. Since home therapies are more practical and time-saving, many
people
would prefer them, particularly if they live distant from hospitals and medical facilities and have already received a diagnosis of a moderate ailment. As for alternative medicines, they’re environmentally friendly but come with risks. Pharmaceutical plants are using harmful chemicals which has a harmful effect on the environment and include a tax on the drugs sold. The main reason is that alternative
medicine
is cheaper than regular treatment rather than going to a pharmacy to afford drugs but with tax included. In a nutshell, the central conclusion from
this
review is that whether
this
issue is positive or negative depends on certain situations with particular diseases. In fact, a home-based remedy seems to be working for someone who can’t get access to local hospitals easily or has less severe diseases.
However
, modernized
medicine
will bring along revolution in the field and older treatment will be a thing of the past and
people
will believe it more than in the past they used to be.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay does exhibit a logical structure, there are areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. Work on creating smoother transitions between points and develop a more solid argument by exploring ideas more deeply.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more impactful. Be sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your argument effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with evidence, details, or examples. Avoid making unsubstantiated assertions, as these weaken the quality of your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a complete response and explored both sides of the issue, which is good. However, refine your position by offering a more nuanced thesis statement that reflects the complexity of the topic.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and a high degree of understanding in your ideas. Make sure to define or explain key concepts thoroughly. It's important that the reader can follow your reasoning without ambiguity.
task achievement
Using more relevant and specific examples will strengthen your essay. Aim for diversity in your evidence and try to illustrate your points with concrete examples rather than general observations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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