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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility
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It is often argued that in various nations obesity and
health
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 issues are very common in
children
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 and it is the duty of the
government
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 to resolve
this
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 problem. I firmly believe
,
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apply
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 that
this
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 matter can be sorted out if the governing bodies take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 measures.
To begin
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 with, it is widely seen nowadays, that many youngsters are becoming overweight and are suffering from many
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health related
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health-related
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 problems
such
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 as diabetes and
anemia
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anaemia
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. One of the main reasons responsible for
this
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 is
consumption
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the consumption
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 of junk and processed
food
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.
However
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,
authorties
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authorities
 can take certain measures
such
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 as imposing more tax on unhealthy eateries. One of the best
example
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examples
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 of
this
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 can be seen in the USA where
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government
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the government
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 has raised the taxes on
the
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apply
show examples
junk
food
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 which has
consequently
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 led to a sharp decline in the number of consumers
specially
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especially
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younger
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the younger
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 age group.
Therefore
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, in
this
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 way governing bodies can limit
consumption
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the consumption
show examples
 of unhealthy
food
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in
Change preposition
by
show examples
children
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. Another step which authorities can take, so, that
this
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 problem can be mitigated is
health
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 awareness programmes.
Health
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 workers can be employed by the
government
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 to carry out
such
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 programmes
fort he
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for the
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benefitof
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benefit of
 the youth.
For instance
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, in India pertaining to
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the rise
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rise
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rising
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 in obesity and
health
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 issues in the younger age group, the governing bodies have employed many
health
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 workers who visit schools and colleges and motivate
children
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 to opt for
healthy
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a healthy
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 diet. Henceforth, by
governments
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government's
show examples
initiative
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,initiative
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem can be easily addressed. To conclude, unhealthy lifestyle and eating
habbits
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habits
 are very much prevalent in
children
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 nowadays and these are responsible for many
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, if the
government
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 takes essential steps
this
Linking Words
 issue can be solved by implementing more taxes on unhealthy
food
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 and motivating
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 to consume healthy for a better life.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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