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Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

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The aboriginal
tribes
Use synonyms
 living in the world’s tropical
rainforests
Use synonyms
population is
Verb problem
are
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 descending. Not more than a few decades, the rest of
native
Correct article usage
the native
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tribes
Use synonyms
 may have forever evanesced.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with indigenous groups living in
rainforests
Use synonyms
 decreasing number nowadays and suggest a viable solution. The principal problem with the possibility of primeval
tribes
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 living in
rainforests
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 disappearance in a few decades is deforestation. People, especially
businessperson
Fix the agreement mistake
businesspeople
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 often exploit nature for their own
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businesses
Change the noun form
business
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 purposes by felling rare
trees
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 in important areas, rather than replanting to save the minors and the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue
affects
Verb problem
causes
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 the number of
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
local
tribes
Use synonyms
 in
rainforests
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 to lessen and
Linking Words
finally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
may disappear sooner or later within ten years.
For example
Linking Words
, wood companies need to cut down
trees
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for constructing
Change preposition
to construct
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 buildings to receive high profits. A possible solution to
this
Linking Words
 worrying problem is imposing
regulations
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 and laws in order to govern
trees
Use synonyms
 felling from
businesses
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government
regulations
Use synonyms
, the current scenario may have
alleviated
Add a missing verb
been alleviated
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, wood
businesses
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 may become afraid of laws and
regulations
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,
then
Linking Words
 perhaps they would not try to log
trees
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 to risk their
businesses
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 so that those indigenous people in
rainforests
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 can still be living. In summary, one of the main problems with the world's jungles is that the number of indigenous
tribes
Use synonyms
 practicing traditional lives is dwindling by deforestation and
this
Linking Words
 can be solved by imposing laws and
regulations
Use synonyms
. It is predicted that more and more entrepreneurs will chop down
trees
Use synonyms
 but they may
finally
Linking Words
 be penalized by the government.

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task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-organized with clear and cohesive paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and ensure that it is used accurately and appropriately.
grammatical range
Ensure that grammatical structures are varied and used accurately throughout the essay.
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