The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

The aboriginal
tribes
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living in the world’s tropical
rainforests
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are
descending
Verb problem
disappearing
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. For more than a few decades, the rest of the native
tribes
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may have forever evanesced.
This
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essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with indigenous groups living in
rainforests
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in decreasing numbers nowadays and suggest a viable solution. The principal problem with the possibility of primaeval
tribes
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living in
rainforests
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disappearing in a few decades is deforestation. People, especially business people, often exploit nature for their own purposes by felling rare
trees
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in important areas rather than replanting them to save the
minors
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environment
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and the world.
Moreover
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,
this
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issue affects the number of
many
Correct word choice
apply
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local
tribes
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in
rainforests
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to
lessen
Verb problem
decrease
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and
finally
Linking Words
disappear sooner or later within ten years.
For example
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, wood companies need to cut down
trees
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to construct buildings to receive high profits. A possible solution to
this
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worrying problem is to impose
regulations
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and laws in order to govern the felling of
trees
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by businesses.
Furthermore
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, by using government
regulations
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, the current scenario may have been alleviated.
For example
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, if wood businesses become afraid of laws and
regulations
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, they may refrain from logging
trees
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in order to protect indigenous peoples in
rainforests
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. In summary, one of the main problems with the world's jungles is that the number of indigenous
tribes
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practising traditional lives is dwindling 
due to
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deforestation, and
this
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can be solved by imposing laws and
regulations
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. It is predicted that more and more entrepreneurs will chop down
trees
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, but they may
finally
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be
penalized
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penalised
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by the government.

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grammar
Fix grammar and wording that makes ideas hard to read. Some phrases are odd or wrong.
structure
Make the intro clear and end with a short conclusion that repeats the main idea.
content
Add more clear examples and show how they prove the point.
lexical resource
Use simple words and short sentences to stay in the top 100 words.
task response
Be precise about the problem and the solution; avoid mixed ideas.
content
There is a clear idea that deforestation hurts tribes.
coherence
There is a plan to use laws to help stop logging.
structure
The essay has an intro and a conclusion.
coherence
Some good linking words and structure are visible.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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