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Writing Samples
Band 6

DOGS ARE ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PETS IN THE WORLD, YET MANY WOULD SAY IT IS INAPPROPRIATE TO HAVE THEM IN BUILT UP INNER CITY AREAS. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

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In the concurrent world,the
debet
Correct your spelling
debit
debate
 over
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education
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 is a hot potato. Many
people
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 concur that kids should start their school
education
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 at a very small age and others think they should begin after they become younger. Some
people
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 concur that it is important to spend their childhood in play. But, I quibble
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 them and put forward my idea
education
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 is paramount for
children
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 from
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 early age. I would like to enlist both views and give my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, adequate evidence to obtainable to prove school
education
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 change
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the top-notch concrete factor
is learn
Change the verb form
is learning
is learned
show examples
 new things with
games
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.
Children
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 are playing
games
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 and learn basic things.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle's child is 4 years old. He is going to preschool and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 wild animals,
alphabets
Correct word choice
and alphabets
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 by wooden jigsaw.
Secondly
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,
children
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 learn to play with friends and share their things
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others.
Thus
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, it is clear that pre-primary
education
Use synonyms
 is good for
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 growth.
However
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, what is half full for some, may appear
half empty
Add a hyphen
half-empty
show examples
 for others.
People
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in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
 tend
think
Add the particle
to think
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education
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 is
load
Add an article
a load
the load
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 for
children
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 deem childhood time is for
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 not for
load
Wrong verb form
loading
show examples
 them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 should spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 indoor and outdoor
games
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 to fit them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
games
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 are important for their better growth.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 should spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 with their near and dear. They feel comfortable with their parents and grandparents. To conclude, I repeat that there are many strong factors to prove pre-primary
education
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is play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 growth.
It's
Correct your spelling
Its
show examples
 opposite can be overlooked or controlled.
Although
Linking Words
, I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 given statement.

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