In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether
students
should study subjects
outside of their major. In my opinion, it is not necessary to study everything in a row. I will explore this
opinion in the following essay.
On the one hand, proponents of focusing solely on core subjects
argue that in-depth knowledge is necessary for expertise. Professions such
as medicine, law, and engineering are so complex and demanding that students
need to devote most,
if not all, of their time to core Remove the comma
apply
subjects
in order to master them. For example
, medical students
are faced with a lot of information to understand the human body and to diagnose diseases. Distractions can lead to gaps in their knowledge, such
as things like the issue of global warming, which is important to the world, but in the case of such
important professions
it will be unnecessary and distracting, ultimately affecting their competence. By focusing solely on their core Add a comma
professions,
subjects
, they will be better prepared for their future careers.
On the other hand
, some argue that unrelated subjects
will help in developing important ones. History shows that some of the greatest minds, such
as Leonardo da Vinci, achieved success by combining knowledge from different fields. For example
, da Vinci's expertise in both art and science allowed him to innovate in ways that specialists in one field could not. By studying other subjects
, students
can develop their problem-solving skills and creative thinking, which enhances their overall
intellectual abilities.
In a nutshell, I believe that geniuses like Da Vinci are few and far between and it is still better to focus on a more specific task and lessons.Submitted by oleksandrrazancev64 on
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coherence cohesion
Your conclusion could be expanded slightly to reinforce your point of view and summarize the key arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is easy to follow, some ideas could be connected more fluidly. For example, linking sentences and paragraphs with connecting phrases would enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are fully supported with specific examples and evidence. In some cases, the link between your argument and the example could be made more explicit.
task achievement
Address potential counter-arguments to strengthen your case and show depth of thought.
organization
The essay is well-organized overall, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good level of critical thinking.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite