IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some school leavers go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for their study?

#school #leavers #work #period #time #university #study
The bar chart demonstrates the times Americans had
Add an article
a meal
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 at junk
food
 shops from 2003 to 2013. Generally, there was a decreasing trend for American people to eat high-fat
food
.
Also
, it is apparent to notice that over half of the
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 ate fast
food
 at least twice a month. In 2003, 31%
Americans
Change preposition
of Americans
show examples
 had fast-
food
 meals in
Add an article
the restaurant
a restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
, which was 1% higher than those who ate once or twice a month; the figure for those who ate several times per week was relatively lower, at 17
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Further
, it is clear to notice that the data for
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three junk
food
 eating habits were all less than 15%. In the
next
 decade, an increasing tendency was found when we examine the frequency of eating a few times a year, whereas a contrary trend could be found in two extreme cases.
Moreover
, the other four types of frequency experienced a fluctuation in
this
 time scale, and the portion of people who eat fast
food
 once or twice per month surpassed the share of the people who ate once per week to become the predominant eating style.
Submitted by 3071334368 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: