Some people say that music is s good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together.
Some individuals claim that
people
from various cultures and generations can be brought together by music
.
There is no doubt that,
any country and society has its own tradition, language and culture which is different from other countries ones . But, there are some which are common among Remove the comma
apply
people
from all over the world
and, the most popular one is the music
.Although
, in every country there is traditional music
,which is played by specific local instruments and have
its own rhythm , listening to them can make the same sense Correct subject-verb agreement
has
in
all Change preposition
to
people
all over the world
with
any ages. Change preposition
of
For example
, listening to cheerful American music
can lift spirits
of old and young Correct article usage
the spirits
Iranian
, Chinese can dance Fix the agreement mistake
Iranians
by
it and Turkish can have Change preposition
to
good
sense by listening to it.So, it can be said, Add an article
a good
music
and all event related to it like concerts and festivals are good
Add an article
a good
way
to bring Fix the agreement mistake
ways
people
from
all ages and cultures together.
Change preposition
of
Likewise
, In the world
of differences which is full of disagreement and war, we should search for similarities and everything we have in common with other people
by which we can it a better place to make the situation better. What choice is better than the music
? In this
angry conflictive world
it is Add a comma
,world
blessing
to Add an article
a blessing
having
something like Wrong verb form
have
music
which can bring peace and friendship .It not only, can make positive sense by its melody but also
can be full of meaning and send effective massages
. So, it would be Correct your spelling
messages
a
international massage which can attract Change the article
an
attention
of all Add an article
the attention
people
from every reign territory , races
, Fix the agreement mistake
race
colors
and age and bring them together.
To sum up, Fix the agreement mistake
color
Although
there are many differences between humans, some senses like passion about
beautifulness beauty ,good smell ,Change preposition
for
listening
to Correct word choice
and listening
the
good Correct article usage
apply
music
are common among them. So, using them can be a good way to bring people
from various culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
togethe
Correct your spelling
together
Submitted by unbroken.houmehr on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite