Some people say that music is s good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together.

Some individuals claim that
people
from various cultures and generations can be brought together by
music
. There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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any country and society has its own tradition, language and culture which is different from other countries ones . But, there are some which are common among
people
from all over the
world
and, the most popular one is the
music
.
Although
, in every country there is traditional
music
,which is played by specific local instruments and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
its own rhythm , listening to them can make the same sense
in
Change preposition
to
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all
people
all over the
world
with
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of
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any ages.
For example
, listening to cheerful American
music
can lift
spirits
Correct article usage
the spirits
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of old and young
Iranian
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Iranians
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, Chinese can dance
by
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to
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it and Turkish can have
good
Add an article
a good
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sense by listening to it.So, it can be said,
music
and all event related to it like concerts and festivals are
good
Add an article
a good
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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to bring
people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
all ages and cultures together.
Likewise
, In the
world
of differences which is full of disagreement and war, we should search for similarities and everything we have in common with other
people
by which we can it a better place to make the situation better. What choice is better than the
music
? In
this
angry conflictive
world
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,world
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it is
blessing
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a blessing
show examples
to
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
something like
music
which can bring peace and friendship .It not only, can make positive sense by its melody but
also
can be full of meaning and send effective
massages
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messages
show examples
. So, it would be
a
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an
show examples
international massage which can attract
attention
Add an article
the attention
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of all
people
from every reign territory ,
races
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race
show examples
,
colors
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color
show examples
and age and bring them together. To sum up,
Although
there are many differences between humans, some senses like passion
about
Change preposition
for
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beautifulness beauty ,good smell ,
listening
Correct word choice
and listening
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
music
are common among them. So, using them can be a good way to bring
people
from various
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
togethe
Correct your spelling
together
Submitted by unbroken.houmehr on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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