Your company is going to organise a special training course for a few staffs. Your manager has asked you to find out if the local conference centre has the right facilities to hold this course. Write a letter to the manager of the conference centre. In your letter: give details about the course describe what equipment you will need for the course ask some further questions about the facilities at the conference centre

#company #organise #course #staffs #manager #conference #centre #right #facilities #equipment #questions

Dear Sir or Madam, Greetings, I hope

this

letter finds you well, I am writing

this

letter regarding the training courses hall in your centre, and I would like to make a reservation next week, I have some inquiries in

this

matter.

Firstly

, our company hired new accountants,

therefore

, they must have a training course

Change preposition

show examples

using the updated software,

additionally

, the senior

accountant

Fix the agreement mistake

accountants

show examples

is immensely needing a huge hall to teach them all at one time.

Secondly

, the manager mentioned that we need some special equipment

such

as twenty

computers

Change the noun form

computer

show examples

devices,

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

network connection, and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

assistance to be there.

Moreover

, if the cafe is still running there, that will be perfect.

Finally

, we need to be sure that the computers are well-updated so we can install our software without problems.

Furthermore

, if can you host the training course at night time, as we can arrange the training after the work hours. I am looking forward to your kind reply, Best Regards, John Adams.

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Mon Jun 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on further organizing paragraphs to ensure each paragraph covers a single idea more clearly. This will enhance the overall coherence of your letter.

coherence cohesion

Make the opening sentence more informative by directly mentioning the purpose of the letter. This will improve the logical flow from the beginning.

task achievement

Although you have given details about the course and asked relevant questions, be more specific about the equipment and facilities required to achieve a full response.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for business correspondence.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and contribute to the overall structure.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

165 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with other types of help rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic: Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

1. International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

besity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+