IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In modern life, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #animals #food #products #medicines
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past, a lot of buyers prefer to purchase items with animal materials when it comes to shopping whether in some malls or restaurants. Nowadays, more and more people hold the opposite attitude that we don’t need so many animal products that may arouse some problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, l am going to explain why l partly agree with
such
Linking Words
 a new view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, at the heart of
this
Linking Words
 matter is that animal protection is becoming a common agreement around the world, which builds an atmosphere to reduce the usage of animal goods in the international society.
For instance
Linking Words
, wearing an overcoat with crocodile skin seems to blame to hurt the wild animals after
this
Linking Words
 kind of news go viral on social media, resulting in a decreasing number of buying
this
Linking Words
 type of cloth among the rich due to considering the public opinion.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another reason is that plenty of artificial commodities tend to have the same feature as an animal with the progress of scientific technology,
such
Linking Words
 as some chemical medicine researched by professors which have a better impact on bloody diseases than bear gall.
However
Linking Words
, if we take the strictest methods to ban people from using any animal goods, there may be a surprising negative result witnessed among the general public. To be more specific, since it is reasonable and essential for every creature on the earth to consume other species to survive in the ecosystem under the normal natural rules, we should not completely reject the possibility of applying the animal items.
For example
Linking Words
, the protein of eggs is proven to have an irreplaceable character for children's health according to a report. In conclusion, l firmly believe that citizens ought to be cautious about issues related to the usage amount of animal products on the grounds of protecting animals and respecting diversity.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: