Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

Every so often

success

is determined by financial stability and assets a

person

possesses.

While

this

may be true to some extent, a

person

success

cannot be defined by only the riches he has and it takes a lot of dedication and hard work to achieve it as well. Financial prosperity will only be one side of the scale when it comes to achieving

success

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in my view.

Firstly

, it is true that having assets or money is a parameter of being a

success

, but being successful is not only that, but

also

creating an image or a brand that people will choose on top of their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

For instance

, Steve Jobs was successful in growing a brand and

also

influencing millions of young people to follow his path which ultimately led them to achieve something great.

Secondly

, it should be measured in the values and the legacy a

person

leaves behind so that people will embrace the impact. The ingredients of

success

are a mix of hard work and patience.

In other words

, a

person

cannot be successful overnight.

To begin

with, having a dream and goals will only take you to one junction of the road.

Moreover

, a

person

needs knowledge, discipline and resilience to work hard to achieve something. For example, it took Steve Jobs 25 years to build Apple to become successful with many failed attempts.

Finally

, growing your network will determine the number of opportunities which come your way in today's complex world as well. In conclusion,

Success

can be gauged with a combination of wealth and values a

person

creates for society, and it takes optimistic thinking and a positive attitude to achieve that.

Submitted by madonnasama on Sat Oct 01 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that the ideas in each paragraph are smoothly linked to improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, provide more varied examples and further develop your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds to the overall coherence of the piece.

task achievement

Your use of examples, such as Steve Jobs, effectively supports your main points and illustrates your arguments well.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed the prompt, providing a comprehensive response to each question asked.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Your opinion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

What do you think is the impact of technology on education?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You missed an international flight due to a problem at the airport. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter: Describe what happened that caused you to miss your flight Explain how missing your flight impacted you Clearly state what you would like the airline to do

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.