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Writing Samples
Band 8

obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. What causes obesity and how can it be solved?

#obesity #countries
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Nowadays, obesity has become a serious and extensively existed problem in numerous countries, especially in some developed nations,
such
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 as America or the United Kingdom. In
this
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 essay, the causes and approaches used to solve
this
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 problem would be discussed. In most rich countries, an excess supply of attractive food might be one of the reasons for obesity. During the modern period, det to sufficient resources of raw materials of diel in these economies, a large number of their citizens can consume delicious food, which might contain calorie
that is
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 more than what their bodies require.
In addition
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, the information gap might be another reason, the producers and sellers may not willing to tell the ordinary how much energy they should consume, and even though some experts publish it, there still are tons of people ignoring the hazard of consuming superfluous desserts or meat but enjoying them.
Nevertheless
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, the problem caused by the reasons mentioned above could be handled by several measures.
For instance
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, government or other responsible organisations can popularise the acceptable intake of energy and harm of adiposis,
such
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 as a higher probability of getting heart diseases, trying to encourage people to avoid adiposis voluntarily.
Furthermore
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, propaganda about fitness
also
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 could be one of the measures, because moderate fitness can help humans to consume excess calories and avoid fat accumulation, preventing the increasing weight of people. In conclusion, the main causes of obesity might be the excess energy provided by the modern diet and asymmetric information. To address
this
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 kind of issue, appropriate measures could be the popularisation of adiposis damage, recommendation of caloric intake, and the promotion of fitness, they could effectively slow down the spread of
such
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 problems to a certain extent.
Submitted by aiwen117 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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