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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interaction. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology #behaviour #interaction
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Quite a number of the population believe that advancement in technology has
tremendeously
Correct your spelling
tremendously
 improved the way
people
Use synonyms
 socialize because humans can now use phones and other gadgets. While others are of the opinion that it has decreased socialization amongst
people
Use synonyms
 reason being that there will be less physical
contact
Use synonyms
. I am of the view that it has improved interaction
amidst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the populace.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, advances in the production of electronics
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 taken a new and rapid dimension,
such
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 that human beings can now communicate, share values and concerns as well as profer solutions to problems without real
contact
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, Colleagues, friends and family are able to come together more frequently than ever before to discuss and share information.
For example
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, a study carried out
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
renowned
American based
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American-based
show examples
 sociologist revealed that 98% of
people
Use synonyms
 had more
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with co-workers, siblings, parents and
spouse
Fix the agreement mistake
spouses
show examples
 following
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 in networking and computers.
This
Linking Words
 has shown that technological advancement has in turn affected social activities positively.
On the other hand
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, turn around in the field of Computers has been perceived to be a threat to
Add an article
the
a
show examples
person to person
Add a hyphen
person-to-person
show examples
 socialization as
one
Use synonyms
 on
one
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 meeting has drastically dropped down since individual can share any form of information on social media.
Furthermore
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, individuals may not see the need of visiting
one
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 another.
For instance
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, a
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
 carried out by a popular
Add a hyphen
award-winning
show examples
award winning
Add a hyphen
award-winning
show examples
 scholar concluded that since the advent of
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
 equipment, physical
contact
Use synonyms
 has been noticed to be on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend by about 80%.
This
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 has illustrated the inverse relationship between the two. In conclusion, recent development in the field of technology has changed the way
people
Use synonyms
 relate with
one
Use synonyms
 another, some felt it has brought more
contact
Use synonyms
 and relationship among the population.
However
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, others think exactly the opposite in that the communion of
bretheren
Correct your spelling
brethren
 is declining. I am of the mindset that it has improved it in
such
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 a way that the number of times meetings
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 place in offices and homes via
internent
Correct your spelling
internet
 and other platforms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
postively
Correct your spelling
positively
 changed.

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