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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries the level of crime is increasing. What are the reasons for this? How can be deal with those causes?

#countries #level #crime
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Recent years witnessed an alarming increase in
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate. The causes of
this
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 trend and likely solutions will be discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, the factors responsible for criminal activities in some countries include unemployment, peer influence and laziness. A survey conducted in a few
african
Change the capitalization
African
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 nations in 2020 revealed that most of the criminals arrested were majorly unemployed citizens. Everyone wants to meet their basic human needs
such
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 as food and clothing, to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
this
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 desire one needs money. The only way unemployed individuals get
this
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 money is through
crime
Use synonyms
therefore
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 it is evident that
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate will increase in countries with inadequate job opportunities.
Although
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 some percentage of criminals are gainfully employed but peer influence from psychopathic friends has influenced them to go into
crime
Use synonyms
such
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 as robbing their companies or collecting bribes.
In addition
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 to the above, laziness and unwillingness to work among a significant proportion of the populace is another responsible factor for the increase in
crime
Use synonyms
 rates. The solution to
this
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 unwelcomed circumstance requires the effort of the government as well as the need for parents and guardians to take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
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 stopping the trend. The government needs to ensure that adequate disciplinary measures
is
Change the verb form
are
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 exerted on criminals who have been convicted of
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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 ,
this
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 will prevent others from engaging in criminal acts. Law enforcement agencies should
also
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 be
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 alert to avert
crime
Use synonyms
 once they are notified of any criminal activities,
this
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 will minimize the number of crimes . Parents should see it as a responsibility to teach children good morals and be useful citizens,
this
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 will prevent them from being influenced by peers as they age. More employment opportunities should
also
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 be provided both for professionals and unskilled workers,
this
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 will bring an end to unemployment. In conclusion, the identified causes of
crime
Use synonyms
 include, unemployment, peer influence and laziness whereas the solution requires the cooperation of the government, law enforcement agencies as well as parents to produce more jobs and train children to be responsible citizens at an early age .

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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