Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some
people
believe that finishing a course in university can guarantee them having a good job. Meanwhile, others believe that
experience
plays an important role in landing a job.
However
, I believe that hands-on
experience
is far superior to completing a study for some reasons that are set out below. It is often said that not everyone can go to school in the past. So, it is a privilege for someone to receive an education, and later they can have a good job.
Nevertheless
, for those who are less fortunate, they need to work harder for it.
For example
,
although
my grandma does not come from a wealthy family, she was able to afford education by working hard day and night which led her to have work. Today, some
people
still hold
this
mindset, and they think that school can guarantee their future
due to
the privilege of finishing their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, in these modern days,
people
believe that
experience
is way more important. They consider that finishing a course without any
experience
is useless.
Nevertheless
, companies prefer having skilful workers rather than fresh graduate workers, and that becomes the reason why some of them did not even bother to go to college to gain knowledge and skills.
For instance
, my high school friend does not want to enrol in university as she wants to immediately work to gain
experience
as she believes that she will achieve more by doing it. Ultimately, I personally think that it is better for many
people
to have
experience
than complete a course because of companies' preferences in choosing skilful workers and useful knowledge to be applied in workplaces.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task, including a more balanced discussion of both views.
Task Response
Enhance the clarity of ideas by developing each point further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the links between paragraphs and ideas for better cohesion.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear opinion and provides some supporting arguments for it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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