Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals #population

There

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some debates over whether

money

Add an article

the money

show examples

that is

spent on wildlife protection could be better spent on helping

people

. Personally, I believe that the protection of wild

animals

is extremely important and that countries need to invest more

money

in preserving their native animal species.

Firstly

, I do not believe that much

time

money

is actually spent on protecting wild

animals

In addition

, I believe that a large majority of

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

that

people

spend on

such

issues is voluntary work that

people

do because they are passionate about saving and helping

animals

Additionally

, a large amount of

money

that is

spent on these causes is from charity organisations which rely mostly on donations.

Therefore

, we cannot tell

people

what charities

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they should or should not donate their

time

and

money

towards.

Secondly

, while many

people

believe that humans are the superior race on planet Earth, others, including myself, feel that all living beings, human and animal, have equal rights to live in peace, and

therefore

the protection of all

animals

and their habitats is extremely important. Human activity is no doubt the main cause of most problems wild

animals

face. The human race has continued to destroy the planet and the natural habitats of wild

animals

and

therefore

should be responsible for protecting them so that they can live wild and free, as is their natural state. In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is essential for the health of the planet to maintain a diverse range of

animals

and wildlife within all

Correct your spelling

ecosystems

show examples

eco-systems

Correct your spelling

ecosystems

show examples

. I

also

believe that due to the widespread devastation humans have caused to the natural environment, it is our responsibility to do whatever

necessary

Add a missing verb

is necessary

show examples

, regardless of

time

and

money

, in order to restore a healthy balance to the planet’s natural environments.

Submitted by gsdpatti on Tue Jun 14 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
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4 paragraphs

298 words

6.00

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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