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Band 8.5

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people
The human being is one of the key factors in today's modern society.
As a result
, some believe that it is essential to allocate more money to trigger people to live healthier than studying treatments for the illness. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
 statement because of the following reasons. On the one hand, the more money uses to promote citizens, the more awareness those understand about a healthy lifestyle. Building many facilitated public parks,
for instance
, will encourage dwellers to be active, doing more exercise or doing outdoor activities there. It can lead to a decline in the number of adults safeguard from some problems related to their bones.
Moreover
, children and doodlers will have a spacious outdoor area to play with their friends,
instead
 of staying home all day long, addicted to video games.
As a result
, it might cut down the rate of obesity at these ages.
On the other hand
, the cure is the biggest concern to lengthen life expectancy. There are many diseases which do not relate to the lifestyle that threaten human life recently. The Covid-19 pandemic,
for example
. stems from the virus which made the death of many people around the world even if they are healthy or not.
Therefore
, living in a healthier way just help human reduce the effects of sickness, but it can not protect them certainly from some worldwide illnesses.
In addition
, not all people can have a chance to live healthy even though they are aware of that due to their hectic lifestyles. In conclusion, producing medicines for illness should be the
first
 priority to maintain human life,
instead
 of allocating budgets to stimulate healthier lifestyles.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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