IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Public celebrations (such as national days, festivals, etc.) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that there are a large number of Cultures all over the world, with various national festivals and special events. it is argued by some that as holding
such
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 celebrations might require allocating a vast amount of money, it would be better to be invested the budget in more beneficial targets and aims.
This
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 essay will discuss why I completely disagree with the assertion. To commence with, it is clear that
such
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 occasions have the potential to become a suitable source of revenue.
In other words
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, governments will be able to make income by providing welfare facilities and efficient transportation to absorb visitors overseas to their countries whenever they are going to perform a festival.
For instance
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, Nowrooz, one of the most prominent, historical, and cultural festival persuade a vast number of tourists to travel annually to Iran in order to get familiar with Iranian reach culture.
In addition
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, neglecting
such
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 happenings in order to save money and make investigation in other sections might come at the expense of spoiling nations’ cultures and traditions and resident depression. What I mean is that national identities are strongly tied with
such
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 traditional events. As a consequence, holding and celebrating them would presumably be the most effective approach to preserving nations’ cultures. Take the yalda festival as an evident example.
Furthermore
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, taking part in national incidents is more likely to make communities satisfied with and cheerful about their governments and lives, and could be a preventable factor of disappointment in Society. To sum up,
although
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 it might cost a fortune for governments to celebrate
such
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 occasions, in my opinion, it could turn out to build a happy Society, conserve their traditions, and make money.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • national pride
  • unity
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of belonging
  • boost the local economy
  • hospitality and retail sectors
  • showcase
  • global audience
  • foreign relations
  • multifaceted
  • allocating
  • quality of life
  • social inclusion
  • cohesive and inclusive society
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