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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses
It is true that a lot more youngsters are going to other countries, that have less financing for schools and live miserably. People tend to go there to volunteer and give some help to those who are in need.
Firstly
, I would say that
this
 has become a trend because wealthy families gave their children not just all possibilities, but because they have taught them how to be open-minded and have a good heart.
Secondly
, the benefit of charity work is undeniable, it is not just about giving back to the society it is
also
 about working on your status.
For example
, a student who has some volunteering background is more likely to be accepted into the university and later on get a better job, because an employer is a lot more loyal to ones, who gave their time to the community for free just to help others.
In addition
 to the profit of volunteers, poor counties are getting the help they crave so much.
For instance
, Angelina Jolie made
such
 a tremendous contribution to counties that suffer, to so many people who basically were starving to death. She even adopted kids there, so now those children have all chances to grow up healthy and well-educated as any other American. A lot of people from all over the world have made similar steps in their life and as I think it is surely underestimated by others, who consider them show-offs. As I think both sides benefit from doing unpaid work for those, who suffer more. So the poor can stop living in shelters and have a decent home, they can study and move someday to a better place.
Submitted by enika2009 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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