IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings
It is being expounded that aged
buildings
 should be demolished and replaced by new
buildings
. I
also
 agree with
this
 opinion. In
this
 essay, I will discuss my opinion and views regarding the importance of the old
buildings
.
Firstly
, technology has advanced a lot in
the
Correct article usage
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recent times.
In other words
, the older
buildings
 were not planned and those are not architecturally advanced.
Moreover
, these
buildings
 don't have amenities to support modern-day electronics.
For instance
, the wirings and fittings are not the latest, so it is difficult to use new-age electronic items. In case, people are somehow able to run those electronic devices,
then
 it poses a threat of short-circuiting and fire, which can
further
 harm human life. So, these
buildings
 should be rebuilt with the latest technology.
The
Correct article usage
Population
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population
 growth is another reason. Earlier, cities were not developed to accommodate a large
population
. Nowadays, the
population
 has grown a lot and
additionally
, people are
also
 migrating to the different cities for better job opportunities. The increase in
population
 and lack of accommodations has caused the issues
such
 as the hike in the properties price and the demolishment of green areas for building the properties. So, older
buildings
 should be replaced with
the
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multi-storey
buildings
 to accommodate multiple families in one building.
Although
,
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 the architecture and design of the older
buildings
 are an attraction for many tourists,we can not put human life at risk by keeping those properties. To conclude, the old
buildings
 should be demolished and replaced with
new
Add an article
the new
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 property as it is a vital requirement to support technological advancement and
population
 growth.
Submitted by richasharma57 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Historical edifice
  • Cultural legacy
  • Architectural marvel
  • Preservationist
  • Urban landscape
  • Economic revitalization
  • Tourist hub
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Cultural fabric
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Civic identity
  • Preservation criteria
  • Structural integrity
What to do next:
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