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Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
In face of many health problems, there is a controversial discussion about whether sugary products should be taxed more to prevent individuals from consuming too much
sugar
. It is considered that increasing the price of those products can decrease their consumption of them, while some
people
 argue that it will not bring about a significant improvement for
such
 a problem. I firmly agree with the latter one and my reason is twofold. The main reason why I think it is not a good idea to cope with the problem is that
people
 who are addicted to
sugar
 still consume many of them even though the price is nearly unaffordable.
In other words
, they have already relied on
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
 to make them energetic and
thus
 their brains suffer from the effect of overconsuming
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In
this
 case, it is extremely difficult to force them to cut off
sugar
 by charging higher. If it is possible, there would not be so many
people
 around the world having health problems caused by
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
.
Although
 it is effectively in a short time that governments tax those goods with too much
sugar
, it would not change the dietary habits of some individuals in long term. It is likely that the policy makes the cost of living higher which turns to the higher revenue for food manufacturers. Coke,
for example
, rose gradually its products higher, due to the restriction on
sugar
.
However
, it seems
not
Add the particle
tonot
show examples
alter
Wrong verb form
altered
show examples
 its
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 figure and the loyal customers still buy a lot of them. From my point of view, it is straightforward that a higher expense can avoid those problems which bring by
sugar
.
However
, it is not the best way to educate
people
 about the correct concept of a healthy diet.
Submitted by peggyw108dm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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