IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Not enough students choose science subjects at universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What’s the effect on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#students #science #subjects #universities #countries #what’s #effect #society
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Nowadays, the number of students that choose
science
subjects
 at university is insufficient. In
this
 essay, we will discuss the sheer
difficulty
 of scientific disciplines being the main reason and as a direct consequence of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the neglect of research will have a profound effect on society. Seeing that not many scholars choose
science
subjects
 as their tertiary education, we will try to understand the reasons. The principal reason for rejecting
this
 branch of study is the
difficulty
.
For example
, a lot of undergraduates reject choosing physics or mathematics
as a result
 of the
difficulty
 of these
subjects
.
As a consequence
 of the laboriousness of the
science
 disciplines, a lot of students choose to not get involved and prefer to study other themes unrelated to the scientific path, like arts or philosophy, that are more simplistic.
Science
subjects
 are not favoured amongst undergraduates these days.
Consequently
, the aftermath in our society will be that the professionals in the scientific field will be scarcer. A classic example of
that is
 the lack of professional research in scientific fields, like biology or physics.
As a result
 of the shortfall of these trained personnel, the discoveries and
investigation
Fix the agreement mistake
investigations
show examples
 in the affected fields will be slow and, in some cases, non-existent.
Thus
,
this
 will influence our capacity to develop new technologies and knowledge. The lack of students in the scientific branch of studies
as a result
 of the
difficulty
 of
this
 topic in the universities will have an important impact on our society, slowing our future research in the scientific field and,
due to
this
 lack of exploration, we will see a deficit of development in our future.
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task achievement
To achieve higher scores, consider providing more detailed and varied examples to support your main points. This will help to clearly illustrate your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical transitions between sections and ideas. Try to ensure that the progression from one point to the next is seamless. This will help improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure for the reader to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt thoroughly by discussing both the reasons and effects of fewer students choosing science subjects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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