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Writing Samples
Band 6

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

#threats #humans #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
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Climate change and the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 of ocean levels are one of the prime obstacles humankind faces in
this
 century.
This
 essay will first suggest that the principal problems caused by
this
 phenomenon are flooding and economic losses
,
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apply
show examples
 and
then
 suggest that a better alarming system and
pollution
reduction
 are the most viable solutions. The major problems caused by global warming and the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 of sea levels are risks of
floodings
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flooding
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 and economic degradation. There are countries around the globe, where it is almost impossible to prevent or avoid
such
 disasters
due to
 their geographic location.
As a result
, economic losses, future stagnation and degradation are, unfortunately, inevitable. The principal example of
this
 would be
series
Correct article usage
the series
show examples
 of major floodings that occurred in Cuba in 2010, which led to dramatic economic
loses
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losses
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 and stagnation. The most viable and appropriate solutions to these problems would be better alarming
system
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systems
show examples
 and
pollution
reduction
, namely plastic
pollution
. It is no secret that bad alarming methods were often the main cause
to
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of
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 so many deaths,
thus
 it is essential to provide endangered areas with smoothly-working alarming systems.
Furthermore
,
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 of plastic
pollution
 would be a great help to prevent future global warming.
For instance
, British scientists have recently proved in their studies that by
reduction
 of plastic
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 in the ocean, we would stop global warming by 50%.
To sum
up
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up,
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 all stated above, climate change, namely global warming and the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 of the ocean is a big issue nowadays.
However
, by implementing particular solutions, we have great chances to
prevent
Verb problem
protect
show examples
 our planet and people in general.
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task achievement
Ensure your examples are current and accurate. The flooding example from Cuba might need more context or updating.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on how pollution reduction directly impacts global warming.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance fluency and interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a nice frame for your arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively identified two main problems and solutions, showing depth in analysis.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow from problems to solutions is well-maintained, making the essay easy to read and follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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