Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think government ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The importance of education both for young and old can not be overemphasized. Some people are of the opinion that government should allocate large funds
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
adult education while it is generally believed that educating
that educating
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
children is a normal phenomenon I totally disagree with the fact that government should invest
humongous
Add an article
the humongous
a humongous
show examples
amount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
of the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
nation's budget to sponsoring adult education and my reasons will be elucidated in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, children they say are the future of tomorrow. Equipping them with the necessary knowledge to have a better society in decades to come is very essential.
Hence
, constant exposure to learning about
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
of
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
,
nation's
Change noun form
nation
show examples
and the world at large is a necessity. To achieve
this
aim parent, teachers and the government has a role to play in
this
.
Also
, youngsters are known for their ability to learn fast and putting whatever they have learnt to practice.
Therefore
,
mind building
Add a hyphen
mind-building
show examples
programs
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
seminars
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
encourage creativity and critical thinking for the young ones.
On the other hand
, adulthood comes with different responsibilities and duties. The ages may wish to study and achieve good grades or qualifications to either get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
at work or just to attain a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
goal.
However
, the concentration of older people is usually distorted
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
either business
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
or family matters which will affect their grades, or even make them stop the study halfway.
Furthermore
, most aged individuals usually
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
more knowledge at their leisure with enough capital to sponsor themselves,
hence
, governmental support to
such
individuals will be considered a waste of resources
Finally
, training youngsters academically may be viewed as normal
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
but allocating extra funds to sponsor older people's learning would be a waste of resources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: