IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Animal species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities on land and in sea. Why has this happened? What’s the solution? (ENVIRONMENT)

#species #activities #land #sea #what’s #environment
Research has it that animals are going into extinction because of man's activities both on land and at the sea.
This
 essay will clearly explain the causes and the proffered solution to these environmental problems. To inaugurate,when there is excessive farming and toiling on the soil, it creates a harsh environment for them to stay.
For example
,a farmer that clears the land for agriculture will technically weed off grasses which is a source of food to them but while they are weed off by the farmer that wants to plant his own seed for crop growing,they will not be able to survive in the environment.
Hence
,they cease to exist.
Additionally
,when trees around are cut off all in the name of agriculture,it exposes them to inhaling a poisonous gaseous substance called carbon dioxide and in ,turn lowers the amount of oxygen they inhale which automatically leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death of most of them.
Also
, a lot of fish could not survive the hard treatment from fishermen who continuously harvest fish till they see the end of all of them. Continuous practice of fishing in a particular pond over time sends these fishes to a land of no return.
However
,there should be a way out of these messes because they are a huge blessing to mankind and they serve a lot of purposes
such
 as food consumption which gives our body some nutrients.They are
also
 the source of livelihood by selling them and getting in money in return from the buyers among other reasons. All in all,measures should be made to reduce the enhance the existence of these creatures.
For example
,regulations should be made and penalties endorsed for perpetrators.
This
 will help to curb individuals to stop these deadly acts and promote their survival. To conclude,they are an important part of livelihood and effort should be made to keep them alive.
Submitted by itshayo96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: