IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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People may have thought that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in their spare
time
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 without any return to gain both personal and social
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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. I disagree with the idea that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
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do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid work, and I believe that it can still be beneficial by doing
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
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 of things. On the one hand,
Add an article
the adolescent
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adolescent
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adolescents
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 should not be asked to do extra
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 without
payoff
Correct article usage
a payoff
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. The main reason is that the youth have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to choose what to do
on
Change preposition
in
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 their free
time
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.
Teenagers
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 can spend their extra
time
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in
Change preposition
apply
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finding their interests or relaxing.
For instance
Linking Words
, students who are busy
in
Change preposition
on
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 weekdays might want to use their free
time
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 hanging out with friends rather than doing community affairs.
Furthermore
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, some youngsters are responsible for
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
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 financial support that they have to take a part-
time
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 job for houseware and the tuition fee.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other types of
thing
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things
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 that
juvenile
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juveniles
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 can do to benefit both individuals and societies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can learn some skills based on their interest.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who enjoy swimming can get a
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lifeguard
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life guard
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lifeguard
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 certificate, and that’s not only for a sense of
honor
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honour
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,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 an ability to rescue drowning people.
Secondly
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, students can have an internship in a company to achieve bountiful experiences
,
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apply
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and
Correct word choice
which
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 may lower the city’s unemployment rate.
Lastly
Linking Words
, they can choose to take a rest and think more about
future
Correct article usage
the future
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, which is important to career development. In conclusion,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should not be taught to help local communities if they have more
time
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, and they can gain extra benefits by using their
time
Use synonyms
 on finding their interests, having
Add an article
an internship
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internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
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 or just relaxing.
Submitted by fendi12191219 on

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