IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

. Your local council is closing the children’s playground in your locality as not many children visit the park. Write a letter to the council requesting not to close it

#council #children’s #playground #locality #children #visit #park
Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well and in good health. I am writing
this
 letter in regard to the notice that I came across about the closure of the playground. Let me introduce myself, my name is Sasha and I reside on Arnage Drive which is not too far away from the play area. I live with my husband, 5 years old daughter, and a dog. Going out for a walk in the evening
along with
 our child around the park is what we do regularly and it has been part of our routine. It is not just our family but there are a couple of others who do the same.
Although
 we don't do
this
 on a daily basis, we do it very frequently and we
also
 believe that
this
 is prominent in improving children's social skills when they meet other younger and older ones.
Therefore
, we would like to request not to close the park. Thank you so much for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Sasha Kota.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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Task Achievement
Your letter clearly conveys your request and provides personal context to strengthen your argument. It would further enhance your letter to include more details about why the playground is important for the community, not just your family, to address the task more comprehensively.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your letter is logical and easy to follow. However, to improve coherence and cohesion, you might consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Tone
You've used a suitable tone for the letter, which is appropriate for writing to a council, maintaining a polite and respectful manner throughout.
Greeting and Closing
The greeting and closing parts of your letter were correctly formatted and contribute to a good overall impression.
Structure
You dedicated each paragraph to a specific point, which helped in making your letter coherent and easy to read.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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