You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea

Dear John, I hope you are doing good. I am glad you reached out for my advice to take one of the crucial decisions in your life. As I know you well, I think you should start work rather than college. I have my own explanation for my opinion, you might not get significant time to achieve

desired

Change the article

the desired

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goal of becoming an artist,

this

is because these days most colleges are focused only on academics,

as a result

, you might lose interest

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both studies and career.

Moreover

outdated

Correct article usage

an outdated

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syllabus will not help you to gain knowledge

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current fashion and technology trends. To fulfil your aspiration you

also

need

additional

Correct article usage

an additional

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budget for dance, music and acting classes that can be earned by choosing a job.

In addition

to your training, you might need consistent income for buying trending fashion clothes for your stage shows. One of the best career

choice

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choices

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that I can suggest for you

is join

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is to join

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as a

baby sitter

Correct your spelling

babysitter

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so that will give you

Remove the article

apply

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enough time to practice for drams as these schools normally operate only for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

hours in a day, as result, you can spend more time focusing on your dream. See you soon my man!. Yours lovingly, Rana

Submitted by rana on Fri Jun 17 2022

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

206 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Real-world experience
Practical experience
Financial independence
On-the-job training
Student loan debt
Personal growth
Professional networking
Career development
Skilled workers
Job market
Career goals
Immediate income
Professional relationships
Market demand
Defining interests
Educational investments

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