You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

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Dear John, I hope you are doing good. I am glad you reached out for my advice to take one of the crucial decisions in your life. As I know you well, I think you should start work rather than college. I have my own explanation for my opinion, you might not get significant time to achieve

desired

Change the article

the desired

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goal of becoming an artist,

this

Linking Words

is because these days most colleges are focused only on academics,

as a result

Linking Words

, you might lose interest

Change preposition

show examples

both studies and career.

Moreover

Linking Words

outdated

Correct article usage

an outdated

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syllabus will not help you to gain knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

current fashion and technology trends. To fulfil your aspiration you

also

Linking Words

need

additional

Correct article usage

an additional

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budget for dance, music and acting classes that can be earned by choosing a job.

In addition

Linking Words

to your training, you might need consistent income for buying trending fashion clothes for your stage shows. One of the best career

choice

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choices

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that I can suggest for you

is join

Change the verb form

is to join

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as a

baby sitter

Correct your spelling

babysitter

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so that will give you

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough time to practice for drams as these schools normally operate only for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

hours in a day, as result, you can spend more time focusing on your dream. See you soon my man!. Yours lovingly, Rana

Submitted by rana on Fri Jun 17 2022

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

206 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Real-world experience
Practical experience
Financial independence
On-the-job training
Student loan debt
Personal growth
Professional networking
Career development
Skilled workers
Job market
Career goals
Immediate income
Professional relationships
Market demand
Defining interests
Educational investments

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