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Some People Believe That If People Are Allowed To Work After The Age Of 60, It Could Lead To Problems | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample

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Many individuals believed
people
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 do not need to
work
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 after the age of sixty, and that it can pose several challenges if professionals are allowed to continue
work
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 after they turn sixty. I agree with
this
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 because it must be a great extent.
Seniors
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 are continuing their
work
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 after a particular age there would be fewer opportunities for young’s, which is true. They will face serious socio-economic repercussions as youngsters, and they are in greater need of jobs than
seniors
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. If they cannot find jobs perhaps, they could be indulged in appalling activities that could have horrifying outcomes. Depression is another threat that young
people
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 are suffering from it, doctors and psychologists opine that youths are the depressing reason for unemployment. On the one hand, as we see the down look, many
seniors
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 continued their
work
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 after retirement, that makes an effect on the productivity of the organization. While it is true that they are highly experienced.
However
Linking Words
, they have a less versatile workplace due to new technology. It is undeniable, that old citizens are still struggling with the advancement, and they feel uncomfortable using computers or the internet. Most likely they have some health issues as well. They may call sick frequently. After all these points, they are not allowed to drive or operate any machines. On top of that, they are most likely to make mistakes, due to their diminishing cognitive skills.
On the other hand
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,
seniors
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 who must have
work
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, because of their poor financial conditions, are more likely to exploit their employers. Every company need a youngster, who had an expert in dominant technology, still are getting low wages
however
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, the old
people
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 are compelled to do their
work
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 at the same salaries as likes youth. In comparison, it is proved youths are ahead of senior’s main reason they two decays behind the youngsters. They are slow and pathetic. In conclusion, allowing
people
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 to have a job after retirement age is beneficial to some needy
people
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.
Furthermore
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, it has some serious issues in the future that cannot be ignored.
Submitted by ahtesham on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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