Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Extra-curricular activity is a need in today's education system. Some say that
kids
Use synonyms
should learn one of the musical instruments in their career. While
music
Use synonyms
is a good choice, In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
should give
kids
Use synonyms
an option to explore different activities and pursue the ones
kids
Use synonyms
are more interested in. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss why to an extent I disagree with the given statement.
First
Linking Words
of all, individuals' capabilities are different. It is not suitable to push
someone
Use synonyms
to
music
Use synonyms
if the person is not interested . The result may not be appropriate if we pressurise
someone
Use synonyms
to learn an activity which is not in their best interest.
For example
Linking Words
, if
someone
Use synonyms
is interested in sports and started with a musical instrument due to the demand of their
parents
Use synonyms
, the person may fail to succeed in the activity. Rather,
parents
Use synonyms
should realise
kids
Use synonyms
' interest in sports and support them to scale in that area. With
this
Linking Words
kids
Use synonyms
will put their best efforts to make the progress. As I mentioned earlier,
music
Use synonyms
is definitely a good choice.
However
Linking Words
, the education system or teachers should not make
this
Linking Words
mandate for
kids
Use synonyms
. It should be treated as one of the options that
kids
Use synonyms
can choose to proceed with. If
someone
Use synonyms
is really wanted to scale in
music
Use synonyms
, they should try different instruments and choose the one which fits perfect for them. To summarize the aforementioned paragraphs, I would like to restate my opinion that the
kids
Use synonyms
in today's generation should get the freedom to select their career path. It is not fair if we force them to learn something which they don't want to learn. While
parents
Use synonyms
can guide them for a better selection, success will only come if our
kids
Use synonyms
get the freedom for making their choice of interest.
Submitted by rijoshjoywyd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educators
  • taught
  • play a musical instrument
  • benefits
  • cognitive skills
  • academic performance
  • physical coordination
  • motor skills
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • express themselves
  • self-confidence
  • stress relief
  • relaxation
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • inclusivity
  • equal access
  • arts education
  • practical challenges
  • implementing
  • universal
  • balance
  • mandatory
  • academic subjects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: