In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered ‘role models’, and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

#parts #world #people #‘role #models’ #influence #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

At the moment, there are many people who have an effect on teenagers

such

Linking Words

as Abert Einstein, Ronaldo, and Messi,..and among those, it is impossible

not to mention

Linking Words

a public figure affects lots of them. From my viewpoint, I confirmed it has a negative with the youth.

Firstly

Linking Words

, look on the bright side they have already greatly contributed to Vietnamese music and brought it to the international level. Not stopping at that, in poverty and poses, Vietnam is

also

Linking Words

emphasized as an independent country, and the young generation should learn from that.

Next,

Linking Words

the charities activity

also

Linking Words

corporation by the famous.

Besides

Linking Words

, the dedication to the debut of new music helps reduce stress, unwind and relax or even the reasons for us motivated in life when meet challenges.

Secondly

Linking Words

, not only influences the characteristics of the young but

also

Linking Words

teaches good things and reasons.

For example

Linking Words

, when the audiences talk about the bad things other people do, immediately the celebrity explains

that is

Linking Words

not good and may have unpredictable consequences. As a matter of fact, famous person they know how to catch their attention and liven up the mood with the view.

Finally

Linking Words

, what we pay special attention to is the environment, which poses a big problem for humans. By the way, Hieuthuhai is one of the rappers in the market in Vietnam, he has come up with extremely sophisticated and effective solutions, which help people raise awareness and were quickly accepted and implemented to completely solve

this

Linking Words

painful problem.

To sum up

Linking Words

, celebrities have shown their ability to have an impressive command of the fields and have intelligence and are worth setting an example and following.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your main argument is clearly stated and consistent throughout the essay. In the introduction, you mention that the influence of famous people on youth is negative, but much of your essay discusses positive aspects. Stay consistent with your main argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases. This will help guide the reader through your thoughts and make your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

Make sure your examples are directly relevant to your argument. When discussing the positive or negative impacts, use specific examples that clearly illustrate your point.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your thesis, and use evidence and examples to back up your points. Avoid contradictions within your paragraphs.

task achievement

You provided a variety of points to support your argument, which shows good critical thinking.

task achievement

You included specific examples like Hieuthuhai and Vietnamese music, which added depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

role models
celebrity culture
aspirational
negative influences
unrealistic body images
discernment
amplifying
guidance
perceptions
activism
charity work
overshadowing
endorsements
consumer behavior

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Online education is becoming increasingly popular. many students are choosing to study online instead of face-to-face education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?
Over the one decade, virtual learning has been popularised across the globe due to innovation of the technology. As a result, plenty of pupils prefer to learn online mode of learning method rather than traditional classroom method. Flexibility time and cost-effectiveness are the benefits of stuying in online whereas isolation and technical issues are the drawbacks. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
5
band
Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are some controversial perspectives heating a debate over how to gain high achievements in life. While some claim that getting access to tertiary education acts as the sole contribution to the fruitfulness of people, the opposite makes a statement that there are formidable influences to gain it. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned aspects.
7
band
You have received a letter from your bank, asking you to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, the card was missing from the envelope. Write a letter to the bank's head office. In your letter: - explain why you are writing - express concern about the missing card - ask them what they intend to do Write at least 150 words.
I am writing to express my deep concern about my new credit card and ask for help. Please allow me to elaborate on the situation in detail.
8
band
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the problems that a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, it is thought that the key to solving this issue is to have more sport and exercise in schools. I agree that this is one way to tackle the problem, but diet must be taken into consideration as well.
6.5
band
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The first using nuclear weapon was in Japan by the United States where it killed many people. At the same time that incident mark the defeat of Japan in World War two. All over the world, nuclear weapons can be very dangerous to everyone and the number of weapons must be limited. On the other side, nuclear has an advantage which can become clean and cheaper energy. This essay will describe how nuclear is dangerous and has an advantage for humans.

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered ‘role models’, and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. many students are choosing to study online instead of face-to-face education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?