In one countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the cause? Do you think thisi is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #house #people #be #thisi #situation

A lovely dream

house

is a thing that most

people

prefer to possess, the kids usually imagine their lovely

house

in the future.

However

, in the

reality

Add a comma

,reality

show examples

not everyone will be lucky and has enough money to buy it. In

this

essay I will explain why owning a

house

is a benefit.

Firstly

, having a personal

property

such

as a

house

and

Correct word choice

show examples

an apartment is really meaningful for

people

due to life is not easy for everyone.

For example

, some

people

have to work hard for food day by day. And for their

place

Add a comma

,place

show examples

it can be narrow and awful because their income does not match to living costs.

Thus

, renting a

house

seems like to be we are paying

loans

for a lessor and a lessee like us will receive nothing in the end.

Secondly

, owning a

house

can be your permanent

property

when you retire.

Instead

of paying rental fees for a temporary

apartment

Add a comma

,apartment

show examples

you should consider paying housing

loans

For instance

, some

people

pay apartment rental fees almost equal to instalments of housing

loans

but they still do not own that

property

so if they change to buy a real

house

when they complete the

loans

, that

house

will belong to them.

Therefore

, money should be spent on the thing that will belong to you in the future. In conclusion, I think it is vital to own some

property

when you are getting older because you can stay in that place as long as you want and your offspring can come to visit you that will make you feel not lonely. So in my notion, owning a

house

is a positive situation.

Submitted by phuchanate on Sun Jun 19 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In one countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the cause? Do you think thisi is a positive or negative situation?

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