Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree.

#people #music #cultures #ages

In recent times, technological advancements

has

Change the verb form

have

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provided better instruments to produce melodious tunes. A fraction of individuals

opine

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opines

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that songs help to gather humans irrespective of their ethnic groups and whether they are children, adults or the elderly.

This

essay will discuss with reasons why I strongly agree with

this

perspective.

To begin

with,

music

is a universal language that cuts across different linguistic barriers.

This

is due to the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

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people from various walks of life are able to decipher the emotions produced by a song.

As a result

it's

Unnecessary verb

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is a significant tool for social interaction and a means of human expression.

For example

, statistics published by the Ministry of Arts and Humanities in Lagos, Nigeria, showed that across over two hundred and fifty tribes in the region, people sing, dance and celebrate

music

at public gatherings either weddings,

dinners

Correct word choice

and dinners

show examples

as well as life ceremonies. The above informs that humans grossly relate to beautiful sounds.

Furthermore

, improved health condition along with mood stability is an imperative

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

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of acoustic

music

This

is owing to the fact that meaningful rhythm is

soul lifting

Add a hyphen

soul-lifting

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and helps to enhance

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

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mood.

For instance

, a personal encounter

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observed with depressed patients' is that they are somewhat excited when listening to their favourite artists

thus

, it helps them to play, have a good mental state and exit their depressive state. To put together,

music

improves

emotional

Correct article usage

the emotional

show examples

well-being of its audience. In conclusion, despite various sentiments and reservations about its effect, I firmly believe that

music

is a force to reckon with if, there is a need to unite individuals in any community.

Sun Jun 19 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?

More and more people want things instantly (e.g: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?