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Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree.

#people #music #cultures #ages
In recent times, technological advancements
has
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have
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 provided better instruments to produce melodious tunes. A fraction of individuals
opine
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opines
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 that songs help to gather humans irrespective of their ethnic groups and whether they are children, adults or the elderly.
This
 essay will discuss with reasons why I strongly agree with
this
 perspective.
To begin
 with,
music
 is a universal language that cuts across different linguistic barriers.
This
 is due to the fact that
,
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apply
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 people from various walks of life are able to decipher the emotions produced by a song.
As a result
,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
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 is a significant tool for social interaction and a means of human expression.
For example
, statistics published by the Ministry of Arts and Humanities in Lagos, Nigeria, showed that across over two hundred and fifty tribes in the region, people sing, dance and celebrate
music
 at public gatherings either weddings,
dinners
Correct word choice
and dinners
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 as well as life ceremonies. The above informs that humans grossly relate to beautiful sounds.
Furthermore
, improved health condition along with mood stability is an imperative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of acoustic
music
.
This
 is owing to the fact that meaningful rhythm is
soul lifting
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soul-lifting
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 and helps to enhance
ones
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one's
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 mood.
For instance
, a personal encounter
i
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I
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 observed with depressed patients' is that they are somewhat excited when listening to their favourite artists
thus
, it helps them to play, have a good mental state and exit their depressive state. To put together,
music
 improves
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
 well-being of its audience. In conclusion, despite various sentiments and reservations about its effect, I firmly believe that
music
 is a force to reckon with if, there is a need to unite individuals in any community.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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