Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree.

In recent times, technological advancements
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
provided better instruments to produce melodious tunes. A fraction of individuals
opine
Change the verb form
opines
show examples
that songs help to gather humans irrespective of their ethnic groups and whether they are children, adults or the elderly.
This
essay will discuss with reasons why I strongly agree with
this
perspective.
To begin
with,
music
is a universal language that cuts across different linguistic barriers.
This
is due to the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people from various walks of life are able to decipher the emotions produced by a song.
As a result
,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
is a significant tool for social interaction and a means of human expression.
For example
, statistics published by the Ministry of Arts and Humanities in Lagos, Nigeria, showed that across over two hundred and fifty tribes in the region, people sing, dance and celebrate
music
at public gatherings either weddings,
dinners
Correct word choice
and dinners
show examples
as well as life ceremonies. The above informs that humans grossly relate to beautiful sounds.
Furthermore
, improved health condition along with mood stability is an imperative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of acoustic
music
.
This
is owing to the fact that meaningful rhythm is
soul lifting
Add a hyphen
soul-lifting
show examples
and helps to enhance
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
mood.
For instance
, a personal encounter
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
observed with depressed patients' is that they are somewhat excited when listening to their favourite artists
thus
, it helps them to play, have a good mental state and exit their depressive state. To put together,
music
improves
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
well-being of its audience. In conclusion, despite various sentiments and reservations about its effect, I firmly believe that
music
is a force to reckon with if, there is a need to unite individuals in any community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: