Nowadays people are living increasing an increasing longer life and in many countries, there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
With a significant rise in
life
expectancy, the old-aged people
are living more years in comparison to the young generation in numerous parts of the world. This
trend brings numerous benefits along with
its potential drawbacks.
To begin
with, the most prominent advantage of old people
experiencing longer lives is that they have vast knowledge and experience that they gained throughout their lives. If they live more years they can help the young generation to remain connected with the roots of their culture which would encourage them to maintain the heritage and history of their culture. Furthermore
, the golden age could be helpful for individuals because they can pursue their hobbies which were postponed at a young age, probably due to
family or work. Thus
, they can indulge in subsequent charity works
or can go and explore the world to gain mental satisfaction.
On the flip side, the major drawback of Fix the agreement mistake
work
this
scenario is that it might put extra pressure on the government budget because the longer lives of old people
would lead to an increase in the demand for pensions, retirement homes, and more health amenities, hence
, to meet these demands government might put an extra pressure of taxes on working class or the executives need to cut down the investment in other sectors such
as education and transport. Additionally
, young people
need to bear another responsibility of taking care of their health and food. Young ones might need to spend some time with old people
for their mental satisfaction which is a daunting task for them due to
their busy life
. Therefore
, this
leads to the
disturbance in their academics or work Correct article usage
a
life
.
To conclude
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that this
longevity of life
offers a double sword with both positives and negatives. So, to maximize the benefits it is vital for the rulers to address the challenges judiciously, ensuring the well-being of both the elderly and wider societySubmitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
The essay responds to the task well by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy. However, try to use more specific examples and statistics to add depth to your points.
task achievement
Work on slightly improving the clarity and complexity of your ideas. Though you have covered the main points, they can be expanded further with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly from one to another to improve the overall flow. You have mentioned key points, but make sure each idea links to the next more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay has a conclusion, try to make it stronger by summarizing the main points again and suggesting potential solutions or further implications of the trend.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay well by clearly stating the trend that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are organized effectively, and each has a clear main idea. Good job in providing a concluding statement.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by covering both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, making it easy to follow your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example