IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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It is quite common these days that a large number of
museums
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 charge entrance
fees
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 though others are free. I believe that the beneficial effects of the former are more than the drawbacks. An advantage of charging
museums
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 entrance
fees
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 lies in the fact that it may make up the losses from their operating activities.
For instance
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, running a museum requires a large amount of money for many items,
such
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 as staff salaries, facilities maintenance, and utility
fees
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. Without decent incomes, the
museums
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therefore
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 could not balance their costs. In
this
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 case, the government probably have to sponsor them to continue their operation.
Thus
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, there would be an increase in the burden on the government's budget, which has to spend on lots of other necessary national activities,
such
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 as education, healthcare and development infrastructures. The most viable drawback of the museum's admission fee is that it creates a hindrance for
people
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 who want to visit them.
People
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 may visit fewer
museums
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 when they can watch more if they are free.
For instance
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, they may find other places that are more attractive than the
museums
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 and even free of charge, like shopping malls or community parks.
As a result
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,
people
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 would lose chances to immerse in
such
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 an educative activity to understand their country's history, which is essential for patriotism.
However
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, museum admission
fees
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 usually are small and they are probably not worth consideration for those
people
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 who would like to know about their country.
In other words
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, they may even prepare small research in advance for the most use of their trips. In conclusion, the positive impacts of charging
museums
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 entrance
fees
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 outweigh the detrimental effects in the case that they are small
Submitted by dongho01 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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