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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valued to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #idea #information #research #business #world
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Nowadays there is an argument about whether or not people should give full details in the
area
 of scientific
research
,business and academics.In the following paragraphs,both of these views will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand,it is a drawback if the knowledge is provided too much ,especially in business.The reason why they have to be patents,trademarks and copyrights is to protect the owner of the idea to gain maximum benefit from their initiatives that hardly developed.If competitive companies know the secrets that make one’s success,they will try to replicate which is unfair to developers.
On the other hand
,It is true to say that sharing as much data as possible will be beneficial to mankind, especially in the
area
 of scientific
research
 and academics.As one of the most famous scientists,Sir Isaac Newton said,If I have seen
further
 than others,it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants,which means that providing the report that has already been discovered can assist
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others to expand the idea.It is one of the main reasons why
scientific
Add an article
the scientific
show examples
area
 has exponentially developed.
Additionally
, in the
area
 of the academic world,Teaching all of what already know will give others the basic lesson to utilize in their career.From my point of view,there is no disadvantage to sharing information in scientific
research
 and in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
. To summarize,In scientific
research
 and academics, providing as much as information gained is important to broaden intellect
whereas
 in some areas
such
 as
business
Add a comma
business,
show examples
 the statistics sharing should be limited to the benefit of the developers.
Submitted by chawanat.pla on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the business and scientific context. Refer to real-world scenarios or well-known studies to enrich your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider polishing the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay and ensure that ideas are seamlessly connected.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and concludes with a personal opinion, which helps achieve a complete task response.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • accelerates progress
  • innovative discoveries
  • transparency
  • open access
  • verify results
  • fraudulent
  • ethical practices
  • consumer trust
  • potential risk
  • misuse
  • sensitive information
  • genetic data
  • defense-related technologies
  • proprietary information
  • trade secrets
  • competitive edge
  • value
  • investment of time and resources
  • compensation
  • disincentivize
  • recoup costs
  • balanced approach
  • policies and agreements
  • sensitive data
  • fair compensation
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