IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that arts subject such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #school #students
Nowadays, with the pressure of attending college
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
, whether
arts
subjects
 should be chosen by
students
 in high
school
 syllabus is up for debate.
However
, I totally disagree with the idea that
arts
subjects
 should not be obligated from the high
school
 courses. The essay will examine the reasons and conclude shortly with my opinion.
First
 of all, some parents and
students
 argue that
arts
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 should not be made compulsory because it is more important for
students
 to get good grades on examinations.
Thus
, they want to enhance the academic
subjects
 and reduce
arts
 subject that seems to waste their time.
However
, art
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 often
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
students
 release stress from tests.
Moreover
, owing to the rest between busy
school
 days,
students
 can concentrate more on their learning. According to the latest statistics conducted by the Ministry of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Education in Taiwan, the number of
students
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 a higher power of concentration in 2021 with relaxing courses
such
 as art and music
subjects
 between their
school
 days. In terms of other advantages, people in modern society gradually lose their ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 creativity. The reason why is that there are too many animations and videos on the Internet, and it makes it difficult to imagine some topics by themselves.
Therefore
, with some painting and doodling, it may stimulate the imagination, which
also
 helps the life after
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. To sum up, I don’t support the idea that
arts
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 should be made compulsory for high
school
students
. There are various benefits that cannot be overlooked.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: