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Band 4

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#business #products #development
In most of the advertisements,the
business-men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 pay too much attention to the fact that their objectives are the latest versions in some way. As there are
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
 of
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
nowadays,the
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 need to attract the attention of the
customers
 more than the others.
First
 of all, the
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 have to make the
customers
 believe in their
products
. If people do not trust the quality of the
products
, the advertisers cannot be
successful
Correct quantifier usage
more successful
show examples
 rather than their opponents.Their
things
 should be qualified enough for
customers
 to purchase them. Having the
customers
’ trust is one of the best ways to raise
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
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 of their
products
 as they have already had the belief of the buyers. Only if they advertise that their
products
 are the latest version, people will be addicted to the
things
 as most
of
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apply
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the teenagers are obsessed with
usage
Add an article
the usage
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 of the new
things
. To my way of thinking, emphasizing that their
products
 are modernistic in some way can have positive impacts not only
for
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on
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 the buyers but
also
for
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on
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
business men
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businessmen
show examples
.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the
customers
’ opinion, they are too satisfied to buy the modernistic
things
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
Moreover
, they will not have any hesitations to purchase
this
 product again.From the
business
Correct your spelling
businessmen’
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men’
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men’s
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 view, they will have more opportunities than their opponents to produce
another new
Replace the adjective
another new product
other new products
show examples
products
 to introduce
the
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to the
show examples
customers
 because they already have had the trust of the people. In conclusion, the more they advertised their
products
, the more they get attention from the
customers
.
Therefore
, I claim that
this
 has a great impact on both
customers
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisers.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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