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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

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These days, a number of global areas' economies are based on tourist industries;
however
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,
this
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 element has several damage when the governments do not have control over it.
while
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 tourism has several drawbacks, I still believe that cannot overshadow the merits. On the
one
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 hand, the benefits of tourists are so varied.
Firstly
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, when foreign passengers go to different places, they create a
lot
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 of job opportunities for natives.
In other words
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, International travellers need accommodations, restaurants for eating food, tour guides for visiting either nature or historical places and so on;
as a result
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, the inhabitants can work in these sections.
Secondly
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, when tourism in
one
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 country is very well,
then
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 a majority of not only passengers but
also
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 businessmen spend a great deal of money in
this
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 region; in fact, they create a chance to grow the economy.
On the other hand
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, the tourist industry has several demerits. On the
one
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 side, when the figure of the population who like to have a trip to
one
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 region climbs, the environment of
this
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 district will be destroyed.
For example
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, the number of communities who visit Thailand is too much;
then
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 the citizens build a
lot
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 of hotels, food places and so forth;
consequently
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, they are injured in their nature to have facilities which can support all passengers. On the other side, the people who live in
one
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 area have a
lot
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 of trash;
thereafter
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, if the figure of communities to have a journey to
one
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 country rises, they have a
lot
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 of garbage which needs a great deal of money and time for recycling.
To sum up
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, In my opinion, it is crucial that authorities who have a
lot
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 of tourists can well- manage them to lose the bad points owing to the fact that the good points which help the economy and people's careers can eclipse the disadvantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Consider structuring your paragraphs such that each one discusses a single advantage or disadvantage in depth.
task achievement
Clarify the argument in the introduction for more impact. Although the introduction is clear, strengthening the thesis statement can provide a stronger foundation for your essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, discussing economic benefits and environmental drawbacks clearly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the argument, contributing to a coherent essay structure.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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