Academic Writing Part 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words. Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#part #minutes #topic #people #health #future

Human

health

is an essential factor that concerns individuals and governments worldwide. Some

people

said that the human

health

standard in the future might be lower than it is currently. In my opinion, I disagree with

this

viewpoint, and I will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.

First

, with the economic development,

people

have more opportunities to have quality meals, which have diverse nutrients.

As a result

, the average

people

health

will be stronger.

For example

, according to the statics obtained after a survey was conducted by the International University in Vietnam, from 1994 to 2004, the economy increased from 2% per year to 7% per year, along with it 70% of meals in families in whole countries were improved.

Therefore

, the

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

show examples

of children who suffered from malnutrition diseases declined significantly.

Second

, science and medicine are become increasingly developed.

This

will enhance to change the diagnosis of diseases earlier and the possibilities of a cure will increase.

For example

, the possibility of curing cancel successfully will rise by 20% if the disease was diagnosed in the initial stage of the disease. Admittedly, the economy, science, and medical development may lead to the pollution

Change preposition

show examples

air, soil, and ocean becoming more serious.

Consequently

people

are likely to get diseases.

This

is a crucial factor that impacts negatively on human

health

However

, if the awareness of individuals and organisms about the environment rises,

this

problem will be alleviated. In conclusion, human

health

all over the world will be improved in the future, due to the growth of the economy, science, and medicine.

Submitted by thientrang1616 on Fri Jun 24 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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