Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think thi is a positive or a negative development?

The more developed the technology, the more terrible impacts on the
peoples’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
daily lives. Especially, some
children
spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
using their
smartphones
.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
the fact that nowadays only learning is significantly popular for several cases
such
as covid19, military coup and traffic jam. Some parents are not patient enough to be stuck in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jam when they take their
children
to school.
Moreover
, they claim that
this
is one of the ways to waste their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
precious
time
.
Children
are forced to learn their lessons
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online by their parents because they have no
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
to study in the classroom.
Subsequently
, their eyes are always on the screen of their
smartphones
. If there is no physical exercise, it will be
awful
Add an article
the awful
an awful
show examples
impact on their health. After that,
Children
cannot have the skills
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
should have
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication skill, the participating in physical activities.
Secondly
,
teenagers
spend their leisure
time
using
smartphones
with their own
chocies
Correct your spelling
choices
. They have been addicted to using
smartphones
because there are many applications that can attract their attention
such
as games,
you tube
Correct your spelling
youtube
show examples
,
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Twitter
show examples
twitter
Correct word choice
and twitter
show examples
.
Although
playing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
all the
time
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
too
monotous
Correct your spelling
monotonous
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
play,
teenagers
are still obsessed with playing
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
. Even though
this
is the free
time
that can do other activities
such
as cycling, swimming and running, they believe that smartphone is the only way to use
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
time
usefully. In conclusion, from my point of view,
this
case is obviously
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative development not only in
teenagers
but
also
in adults for the reasons that I mentioned above.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Your opinion

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