Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships

Over the

last

two decades, digitalization has increased enormously. It is commonly believed that social media

such

as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

have a bad effect on teenagers while others believed that these websites increase community relationships.

However

, in my point of view, digital sites have a negative impact on

Correct your spelling

academic

acadamic

Correct your spelling

academic

and family relationships. To commence with, young people are being addicted to social community apps to know the

gossips

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gossip

show examples

, celebrities, and political news.

Moreover

, apps are being used by holding the mobile phones

Change preposition

for

show examples

long hours.

As a result

, it causes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health problems

such

as obesity, hand pains, and headache. One clear example is that, youngsters are wasting their time

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

news

then

they are

procastinating

Correct your spelling

procrastinating

their academics

hence

it leads to strain and health issues.

In addition

this

, family relationships are being broken by over usage of mobile. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays most of the younger

one's

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ones

show examples

are communicating

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

friends and relatives through WhatsApp and skype

hence

they are missing face-to-face communications.

For instance

, these days, teenagers are not spending time with their parents and

sliblings

Correct your spelling

siblings

then

they are

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

affections

Fix the agreement mistake

affection

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from their peered ones.

However

some times

Correct your spelling

sometimes

show examples

crimes are being done by young adults due to the stress.

On the other hand

, opponents opine that these sites build communication around the world. Even though it has

benefit

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benefits

show examples

but

finally

it has many drawbacks. In conclusion, social sites are impacting

teens

Change noun form

teens'

teen's

show examples

academics, health and bonds.

Thus

, parents should supervise their children to overcome these issues.

Submitted by venkysai670 on Fri Jun 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?