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Band 6.5

Some think that government should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#think #government #support #people #care
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There has been a controversy about whether the government should
support
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 retired
people
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 financially. I think it's necessary to
support
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 those
people
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, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
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, a
pension
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system
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 can foster the re-productivity of
labour
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the labour
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 force. Because there is a
pension
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system
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, the lives of retired
people
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 are guaranteed; and young
people
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 don't worry about their retired lives.
Therefore
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, a normal substitution process is formed; when the early
people
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 retire, young
people
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 can take over their work. At
this
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 point,
such
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 a phenomenon is advantageous to the domestic employment structure.
Second
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, financial
support
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 can bring harmony to our society. As we know, a
pension
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system
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 can guarantee the basic lives of retired
people
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.
Besides
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, due to the advent of an ageing population, the number of the aged is rising;
hence
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, if the government can take care of those
people
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;
in other words
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, our society can be more peaceful. It's worth mentioning that a reasonable
pension
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system
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 is a good sign for the working population as well. They can see their retired
people
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 will be treated well.
Third
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, financial
support
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 is advantageous to the country's economic development. The
pension
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system
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 in many countries is linked with the workers' working efficiency;
thus
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, if you work harder, you can get more pensions when you retire.
Such
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 a design stimulates workers' enthusiasm and leads them to work more effectively. As a consequence, the country's economy can be promoted on account of improved working efficiency.
On the other hand
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, supporting retired
people
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 financially has some drawbacks.
For example
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, due to an ageing population around the globe, the number of retired
people
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 is rising;
in other words
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, the government needs to pay those
people
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 a sizeable portion of money annually. As a consequence, it will bring some domestic financial issues and hinders the country's economic development. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages of supporting retired
people
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 financially.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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