some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #theaters #sports #stadium #care #education

People

have different opinions about whether the

Government

should spend their money on entertainment buildings or healthcare and education.

While

spending on constructing buildings for entertainment can sometimes be worthwhile, I believe that more money spent on educational activities and health programs is vital for society. On the one hand, Entertainment activities are always a driving force for human beings and it is the

Government

's responsibility to foster a positive environment in their nation. The reason behind

this

is,

due to

the work pressure or normal boring life, sometimes going to a movie with family and watching favourite sports in stadiums will give immense pleasure to the individuals.

However

this

will bring the inner child from them to enjoy the real world and will help them to move forward in their routines.

For example

, thousands of

people

are booking tickets in advance to watch cricket in the stadium in India to enjoy the real moments of their favourite players.

Hence

, the

government

should put more effort into building standard and spacious buildings for their

people

On the other hand

, it is perhaps even more important to disburse a certain quantity to the medical fields

as well as

academics.

This

is because there are

people

in the poverty line who are unable to get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basic care for their nourishment and basic qualifications.

Moreover

, Helping them in the form of charity or building more hospitals and schools will definitely bring them up the line.

For example

, In recent COVID times, a large number of actors, politicians and affluent persons donated to the basic needs of the

people

who struggled to get hospitality and the

government

provided some subsidies to the ones who got affected severely in India.

Thus

, valuable spending by bureaucracy on these fields will yield more benefits to the country and

as well as

it will promote a friendly environment for substantial living. In conclusion,

although

there are some possible benefits to building theatres, clubs and sports arena, I believe expenditure on notable sectors is much more important.

Submitted by chandralekha1993 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Grammar & Accuracy

Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid simple spelling and grammatical errors. Though your English is generally strong, these small mistakes can detract from the professionalism of your writing.

Lexical Resource

Try to enrich your essay with a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary. While your essay is well-written, using a range of sentence types and more sophisticated words can make it even more impressive.

Task Achievement

While your essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, consider developing your arguments further with more in-depth analysis and wider implications. This will enrich your task response and make your position even more persuasive.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, showcasing a good use of linking words and clear paragraphing. To further enhance coherence, consider signposting your main points more explicitly at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

In today's world, many pople own a smartphone.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?