some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #theaters #sports #stadium #care #education

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People

Use synonyms

have different opinions about whether the

Government

Use synonyms

should spend their money on entertainment buildings or healthcare and education.

While

Linking Words

spending on constructing buildings for entertainment can sometimes be worthwhile, I believe that more money spent on educational activities and health programs is vital for society. On the one hand, Entertainment activities are always a driving force for human beings and it is the

Government

Use synonyms

's responsibility to foster a positive environment in their nation. The reason behind

this

Linking Words

is,

due to

Linking Words

the work pressure or normal boring life, sometimes going to a movie with family and watching favourite sports in stadiums will give immense pleasure to the individuals.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will bring the inner child from them to enjoy the real world and will help them to move forward in their routines.

For example

Linking Words

, thousands of

people

Use synonyms

are booking tickets in advance to watch cricket in the stadium in India to enjoy the real moments of their favourite players.

Hence

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should put more effort into building standard and spacious buildings for their

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is perhaps even more important to disburse a certain quantity to the medical fields

as well as

Linking Words

academics.

This

Linking Words

is because there are

people

Use synonyms

in the poverty line who are unable to get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basic care for their nourishment and basic qualifications.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Helping them in the form of charity or building more hospitals and schools will definitely bring them up the line.

For example

Linking Words

, In recent COVID times, a large number of actors, politicians and affluent persons donated to the basic needs of the

people

Use synonyms

who struggled to get hospitality and the

government

Use synonyms

provided some subsidies to the ones who got affected severely in India.

Thus

Linking Words

, valuable spending by bureaucracy on these fields will yield more benefits to the country and

as well as

Linking Words

it will promote a friendly environment for substantial living. In conclusion,

although

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there are some possible benefits to building theatres, clubs and sports arena, I believe expenditure on notable sectors is much more important.

Submitted by chandralekha1993 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Grammar & Accuracy

Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid simple spelling and grammatical errors. Though your English is generally strong, these small mistakes can detract from the professionalism of your writing.

Lexical Resource

Try to enrich your essay with a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary. While your essay is well-written, using a range of sentence types and more sophisticated words can make it even more impressive.

Task Achievement

While your essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, consider developing your arguments further with more in-depth analysis and wider implications. This will enrich your task response and make your position even more persuasive.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, showcasing a good use of linking words and clear paragraphing. To further enhance coherence, consider signposting your main points more explicitly at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantage of social media outweight the disadvange?

As technology develops, more shopping and business is done through the internet while communication face to face becomes less frequent. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?