It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Local customs are vanishing around the sharply developing gadget world.
This
electronic staff is fulfilling our everyday life, and altering our view upon enormous things. Especially, our traditions were affected by
this
. Let's consider
this
question from different sides. I partly agree with
this
statement, because of the statement's simplicity. I think the question is not unravelled to fully agree or disagree. There are many options of response which can support
this
idea,
as well as
those , which can contradict it. I'll try to explain my position in front of
this
statement. First of all, we are human, and as representatives of smart animals, we have to note that entire generations of humanity were living in the struggle to survive. All we know is that it needs adaptation skills which means evolving every day.
Therefore
, we can say that our so-called traditional cultures were something which appeared
as a result
of historical events. Cause our ancestors felt the necessity of that. Altogether, we have modern technologies as we need something which will make our lives easier.
On the other hand
, our customs got through a time filter, it was challenged by people, and we received it as a legacy. It drives me crazy when people say traditions are outdated, in these moments I want to say, they are upgraded over time. If it is challenged by people, and
nevertheless
it comes to our century, it means
this
culture worth it. Summing up, customs and technologies can present together, and we may not choose only one of them, cause without the past we cannot build the future.
Submitted by kooper507 on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer and more direct introduction stating your opinion. This helps in directly addressing the question and establishing a clear stance.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly with specific examples. Utilize concrete examples or hypothetical scenarios to support your arguments for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a more coherent structure by using clearer paragraph divisions and topic sentences. This will help readers easily understand the transition from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitions and redundancies in your argument. Focus on presenting fresh ideas and perspectives in each paragraph.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, indicating that customs and technology can coexist. This shows a good understanding of the need to balance tradition with progress.
task achievement
You've engaged with the topic critically, considering both sides of the argument. This shows an ability to think deeply about complex issues, which is a positive aspect of your essay writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical order, starting from an introduction to your viewpoint, moving through arguments, and concluding with a summary. This is a good foundation for structural coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • advancement
  • globalization
  • dilutes
  • traditional cultures
  • social media
  • blending of cultures
  • preservation
  • platforms
  • adaptability
  • technological adaptations
  • uphold
  • consequence
  • integrate
  • cultural frameworks
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