IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view.

#people #visitors #locals #visit #tourist #attractions #country
It is often argued that overseas
tourists
 should be charged more to visit historical buildings than the indigenous communities. I completely disagree with
this
 view because everyone has equal
rights
 to see
this
 and they have come from a far place and already spent a heavy
amount
 in travelling.
To begin
, historical
Change preposition
with, historical
show examples
 sites are not personal properties so everyone has equal
rights
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. These are the assets of mankind. No single government or nation can categorically say they have a complete right
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. If the local people pay less as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
entry
price
,
this
 is complete an unfair
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 due to the fact that travellers from all over the world have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
rights
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 them. To illustrate, the 36 storied- building, Cocoa house was constructed by the profit generated by Nigerian farmers and it has
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 a major
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
 attraction
about
Change preposition
since about
show examples
 6decades ago,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 ticket
price
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for both the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 and foreigners.
Hence
, due to human
rights
Add a comma
,rights
show examples
 there should be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
entry
 prices for these.
Furthermore
, travellers come from a different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and spend an enormous
amount
 to reach these places. They pay a huge
amount
 to take flights and cabs.
Moreover
, they spend a substantial
amount
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 accommodation too. If again a more
price
 is asked for
entry
 to these places,
this
 is not justified. The role of the government is to incentivise
tourists
 to travel again but not to demotivate them. A double or more
price
 than local residents is
source
Add an article
the source
a source
show examples
 of discouragement.
For instance
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research reveals that international visitors do not prefer those places which charge
double
Add a hyphen
double-entry
show examples
entry
 prices from foreigners.
Therefore
, they already had paid huge charges to
finally
 reach their destination, in view of
this
,
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
price
 will motivate them to visit again. In conclusion, asking
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
more
price
 from
tourists
 from different regions is not a conducive decision because they already paid huge expenses and it is the right of everyone to gain access to these buildings.

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