IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write about the following topic: Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #people #world #poverty #answers
How to deal with poor
people
 has become a global issue, and different countries have different solutions.
However
, in order to fix
this
 problem, we need to look at the reasons for world
poverty
first
. The reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
,
parents
 play an essential role in causing
poverty
. As we know,
parents
 have a huge influence on the growth of their children;
in other words
, whatever the
parents
 do, or whatever the
parents
 say, their
kids
 will mock their
parents
.
Therefore
, if
parents
 have some bad habits,
such
 as snorting drugs or constantly committing crimes,
then
 their children are bound to be affected and do the same things.
As a result
, there will be a growth in the number of poor
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the national crime rate.
Besides
, poor
people
 tend to have more children to increase the possibility of achieving success.
Nevertheless
, the thing they don't know is that the more
kids
 they have, the more resources they need to split. As a consequence, none of the
kids
 can make success, and the
poverty
 issue within the country is worsened.
Second
, the community where you live is influential too. It's commonplace that rich
people
 live in rich areas, and poor
people
 live in slums.
As a result
 of growing up in a rich area, you can go to a good school and receive a great education, and eventually become a pillar of society.
On the contrary
, should you live in a slum, all the things you will experience are related to crimes, like robbing and stealing.
Hence
, it can be said that your surrounding will shape your view. Here are some solutions that can help the poor.
For example
, the government should carry out compulsory education firmly. As a consequence, those
kids
 from low-income families can go to school and learn something; in the future, they can use the knowledge they learned from school to find a well-paid job. In conclusion, they are the main causes of world
poverty
.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: