IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

TASK 2. The detailed description about crime will affect the people and cause many social problems. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#description #crime #people #media
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate about whether the elaborate criminal
information
 will influence the people and lead to a bunch of issues in the society so the media should be under supervision. In my opinion, I would consider myself an advocate of
this
 statement. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is crucial to restrict descriptions related to lawbreakers for the sake of people's mental
health
. When a person sees
this
 kind of
information
, his
health
 would be impacted mentally or even worse due to the severe cruelty of these documents.
For example
, watching a documentary film about wicked actions can heavily impact a person, which might cause serious obsession and fear of crime.
Therefore
, programmes about crime in full detail need to be supervised strictly in order to make sure that individuals’ mental
health
 is not affected in an unhealthy way.
Furthermore
, it is evident that the criminal description’s limit in the media brings tremendous benefits to not only people's
health
 but
also
 children’s character traits. Clearly, kids, who are extremely curious about everything, may search for any kind of
information
 on numerous online platforms in order to meet their curiosity demand.
Thus
, their personalities would be impacted negatively if they have access to offenders’
information
.
For instance
, if adolescents watch too many programmes related to crimes
such
 as killers, kidnappers and murders, they might quickly imitate perpetrators’ behaviours.
Hence
, elaborate criminal reports should not be shown to the public, especially to children with a view to protecting their personalities. In conclusion, it is paramount significant to thoroughly restrict detailed
information
 related to lawbreakers in the media.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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